If you tried to overcome jealousy without too much success, read this page
You might already know Foxy quite well
If you have the feeling that your partner will be unfaithful and could leave you for someone else, that your relationship is threatened by “more beautiful” women, or that he is not giving you the attention you deserve, this is all happening because of “Foxy”.
Foxy is the name and representation of your mind (at least, this is how I called mine). Foxy is this inner little voice, constantly dialoguing with you. She is a smart, elegant, deceitful and sneaky blue eyes red fox, but she is also the one that may let you feel:
- Insecure in your relationships
- Threatened without knowing why
- Unable to fully trust your partner
- Convinced that your partner could go with someone else
- Unconfident in your couple
- The unwanted need to compare yourself physically and mentally with others
- That you are investing yourself more than him in the relation
- Worried about what might happen if you are not here to control what is happening
This is Jealousy.
Fundamentally, you are afraid to lose your partner.
As a result of all those feelings, your inner dialogue might starts to rush in (to predict what could happen): you invent scenarios, stories about what could go wrong with your partner (and you firmly believe they will happen).
But if you try to “fight” jealousy, you will always lose against it.
Because feelings can be so overwhelming, we often have the misconception that the best way to deal with them is to get rid of them. “Getting rid of” or “suppressing” a feeling is a strategy that eventually backfires.
Foxy is sly and cunning. Thoughts do bounce back. If I tell you to try not thinking about a red tree in the next 5 minutes, by getting yourself busy doing some work, the thought of the red tree will become more accessible and prominent, than not trying to suppress it. This is how the brain works.
Alexandra Salomon, ICI Certified Coach and NLP Master Practitioner
Learn how to overcome your jealousy without fighting it
One day, back in 2016, I reached my threshold point.
I could see I was so jealous it made me feel miserable. I was moody, disoriented in my relationship (which nonetheless was a starting but amazing relationship), creating tension for no reason with my partner, and I consciously knew what I was doing. I wanted to stop reacting this way and was telling myself “that’s enough Alex, why are you doing that!?”, but the words were getting out and I kept making things worse.
That day, I sat down with myself and decided to seek for help.
I looked online about jealousy, about being insecure in my relationship, read an extensive range of self-development and motivational books and took lots of notes, opened up about it with my best friend, started journaling, hired a Mindfulness coach to understand more about the power of the mind. But I kept facing ups and downs, from small victories to falls back to old behaviours.
You can avoid these mistakes and start changing your reactions to jealousy after the first session
After I completed my NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) Master Practitioner Certificate, I strengthened my understanding about jealousy by doing some deep work on myself and started to develop my own strategies to tame jealousy, and finally be in peace with Foxy.
Since then I coached people from four different countries, facing no exit roads with jealousy after trying different approaches with no success, and helped them to regain confidence and serenity within themselves to live fully their relationships.
You too can learn how to overcome your jealousy without fighting it.
“My Foxy Project” is a one-on-one coaching program for women who can’t afford spending years digging deep into the reasons why they are jealous but want a practical and straightforward approach to feel confident in their couple relationship avoiding falling back to old behaviours.
Doing this work will be confronting, and you’ll learn a lot about your fears and how to let them go. And the good news is that I know jealousy inside out so can understand you more than anyone else and guide you through the changes you will make in your journey.
All starts with a short chat
Book now a 15 minutes call with me
During our first call you will be able to ask me any questions and we will use this time to understand how we can work together. I will also explain how I can support you to:
- See what was possibly invisible to your eyes before
- Build self-awareness about what is actually going on with your partner
- Understand your behaviours and your triggers and to adopt new ways forward
- Drive your own change in your life avoiding fall back to old behaviours
Fill the form below now to schedule a free call with me
Most frequently asked questions
Does online-coach work? Isn’t face to face better?
Undeniably, face to face always confers a great experience to connect.
A few years ago, this question must totally have been arguable. With the development of technologies, I believe it has never been as easy to set up a video call, being able to hear and see one another very clearly.
Online coaching is great to accommodate timetables and allow time flexibility to call, and most importantly it allows you to choose to work with a coach who wouldn’t be present physically in your country.
I have very extensive experience of coaching online across the World, and I find it very easy to relate over the screen.
What if it doesn’t work me?
That’s only normal to think your insecurity would remain. Because for now it is very anchored. Remember how long it took for you to settle into these life patterns you are experiencing now.
From the first coaching session, you should already notice changes, and after a few coaching sessions, you’ll be surprised to observe how your feelings will have evolved. Working on yourself is a process that can take time, but what is important is to keep your willingness to change!
What is the difference between NLP Life Coaching and Therapist?
It is very easy to get confused. Psychology or therapy is very different from life coaching or NLP. They share similar traits but use different approaches.
Therapy can also be called counselling or psychotherapy. Therapists can be classified as psychologists or counsellors and are licensed healthcare professionals. They focus on long-term work, mostly aiming to understand your thoughts and behaviours. Therapy usually focuses on introspection work and analysis, with the aim to resolve past issues to improve someone’s future well-being.
A Life Coach is not a healthcare professional but can be seen as a “helping professional”. A coach mostly focuses on supporting clients to achieve their goals, in any areas of life, over a mid-term or short-term process. Coaching involves helping you to figure out what you want, where you are now and how you can get from where you are to where you want to be. The coach uses the client’s current starting point situation as a ground on which to take action. Coaching tends to focus on the present and future rather than the past.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming, or NLP, is the integration of three important concepts. It is the combination of our Neuro (the neurological system and the brain) processes, our Linguistic inputs of experience (the way we use language to make sense of our experience), and the Programming that occurs between the two. It is understanding the “language of our brain”. NLP is not therapy, it is a meta discipline that studied about learning how to use the brain more effectively or more efficiently, and how to communicate more effectively with ourselves and others. It provides methods for changing the way we think, feel, act, learn, in order to achieve the results that we want in our life.
The skills of NLP can be used in many areas of life and for instance are being used by various professionals, including teachers, sports coaches, personal/ life coaches, managers, motivational speakers, entrepreneurs, doctors, lawyers, politicians, and so on.
Being an accredited Coach with the International Association of Coaching Institute and NLP Master Practitioner, I am bringing my knowledge and experience in both Life Coaching and NLP. In wanting to achieve a particular goal, or outcome, the biggest obstacles often reside in our own minds, and therefore we can use many NLP tools in overcoming them.
Why should I work with Alexandra, specifically?
It is true there is a variety of professionals out there. And you need to find the person you will associate with, the person who fits your style, who you can easily relate with and feel comfortable sharing openly with.
I’ve been where you are now, and through my research, my introspective work on feeling insecure in my relationships and my experience in NLP and life coaching, I have tailored my unique approach to support you at best to understand your feelings, your thoughts and behaviors in your relationships, to empower you to drive the changes you want to make in your relationship.
How many sessions will I need to take to see change occurring?
It is only normal to want to feel better as quickly as possible. Yet do not forget how long it took for you to settle into these life patterns you are experiencing now. Even if one session can lead to significant change, working on yourself takes time.
Having consistent and frequent sessions to get you moving to your goals is key to change. I believe it is ideal seeing you for a minimum of 3 months at an interval of 2 sessions per month, or one session every two weeks. I then suggest moving onto a session every 30 days, and for you to evaluate afterwards how you feel and decide whether you need more sessions.
How long should a coaching session last?
I usually aim to spend 75 minutes with you on the first coaching session, to get to know you and answer your additional questions. Subsequent coaching sessions would last 60 minutes.